Getting Fired Is The Worst. Here's How To Not Panic
Canned. Fired. Phased out. Terminated. These are words that sting.
Let go. Downsized. Outsourced. Furloughed. Laid Off. Non-essential. Even these words that seem softer don’t hurt any less.
Whatever your situation, getting fired stinks. Especially unexpectedly.
With the state of the world right now, it's likely that someone you know has been laid off or furloughed.
So, what can we do besides panic? What can you do to stay sane during this time of waiting and wondering? Start with these 10 ideas and let’s go from there.
Be Easy On Yourself.
Don’t dwell on the past or blame anyone, especially yourself. You did the best you could and factors out of your control took over. And if you didn’t do the best you could, there’s room to grow and learn from this to do better next time.
Fully Feel.
Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Discouraged. Guilt. Any emotions that come up...let them stay for a moment. Long enough to feel that emotion. Give yourself at least one full day to stay home in your pajamas and process all of this. You’ll probably want to cry or scream. That’s okay. Let it out. Write down how you’re feeling in a journal or on a piece of paper. The only way to go past it is to feel it. Feel it now, so you can deal with it now. Not sweeping stuff under the emotional rug will save you so much mental anguish in the long run.
Allow Yourself To Be Humbled.
Now, it’s easy to start giving blame: to yourself, to the company, to your boss or co-workers...You might have been doing this already. So now try thinking about what happened without the blame and guilt.
Ask yourself these questions:
Who was involved?
What actually happened?
What is the official reason I got fired?
Why did I actually get fired?
When did I first have an idea or feeling that it could happen?
Was there a turning point that could have saved my job…or was this inevitable?
What were the signs or little clues leading up to the firing that I can see better now?
What can I do differently in that situation next time?
How can I learn from this experience?
Think about the events that took place objectively and without judgment. This way, you can actually deconstruct what happened and learn from it.
Take Ownership Of Your Actions.
This is the most important thing you can do right now. Whatever happened, you made the choices in your life and at work that lead up to this event. If you did your best and know that you were true to your beliefs, you can be proud of that. If you slacked a little more than you probably should have, you can learn from that. If it truly was out of your control (like during a global Pandemic) then you know you did the best you could. You can own what you do with your words and your actions from this moment on.
Allow Yourself To For Forgive.
This one could take a little bit of time. Even when it’s really hard, try to forgive. First, give yourself permission to forgive yourself for any blame you might be holding onto about what happened. Then, take a breath and forgive the people involved. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you like the person or the decisions they made. Forgiveness means you let it go. You let it go from your mind and your heart, because you can’t change it. Forgiveness (even if it takes awhile) is the only way to feel better and truly move forward. This part is hard, and necessary.
Look For Ways To Learn.
It might not feel like it right away, but this experience can be an opportunity disguised as tragedy. This happening is a chance for you to grow. How are you more wise now? What can you look towards that will help you advance in a more positive direction? What kinds of trainings can you do online? What books can you read to enhance your skills?
Relax.
Wait, what? Yes. relax. I know that you’re not on vacation but this one is key. Schedule a day or two where you have nothing planned. No plans. No appointments. No phone calls. Sleep in. watch Netflix. Read a book. Take a bath. Do nothing. Give yourself time and space to heal.
Now, Be Productive.
After you’ve actually taken the time to relax, you have permission to keep your mind busy. Take a walk, play some music, organize your closet, cook a delicious meal or bake some fancy desserts. Work on a creative project that you never had time for.
Everyone’s situation is different, but we all have things that just weren’t getting done because we had to work. Find a way to feel productive and actually do something that you’ve been meaning to do. Go for a hike. Dance. Do some fun movement. Doing activities that you have something “to show for” at the end will help you feel more productive and give you confidence. Even little things can make a big difference.
Build Momentum.
Is there a special training or course that you’ve been wanting to take? It doesn’t have to be technical or work-related. Try taking on a personal self-improvement project. Doing something fun and creative will help prepare your mind to be the best you can be at a new position. Think about what it is that you truly want for your life and career? Write it down. Do something every day that moves you towards your goals. Keep it going and keep growing!
Look For The Good And You Will See The Good.
You have such a powerful mind, that you can take any situation or thing that’s happening and turn it around for the better. It’s simple. All you have to do is look around and count your blessings. What can you be grateful for today? Write these down in your journal too. Focus on what outcomes you want to happen. Instead of thinking “No one will hire me now” stop that right now and think “the right company is looking to hire someone like me.” This makes a huge difference.
Reach Out To Your Support System.
Family, friends, colleagues and former co-workers. They’re here for you. They can be more understanding and helpful than you even realize. I’m here for you too. Comment below or schedule a time to talk privately about what you’re going through.
Get Back In The Game.
Update your resume to show the most recent end dates for your old job. Update your LinkedIn profile. If you don’t have one this is the perfect time to create a profile and I can help you with that. In all the ways you know how, put yourself out there as a job applicant again.
Start looking for jobs that you actually want. Keep searching for jobs you want using Google as a starting point. With Google, you can simply search “job title + location” or “job title + remote” to find the jobs you want. It even shows you the salary and company ratings for some positions. Please don’t waste your time with applying for jobs that you’re not excited about.
Know Your Truth.
No matter what happens with any job, always remember this: What you do is NOT the same as who you are. Who you are is an amazing, talented, wonderful person with lots of gifts and lots of heart. A job description, job title, or role does not define you. You are here on this Earth for a purpose.
Above all, know and understand that you are special. You can learn from this and grow as a person, and come back stronger for having been through this experience. You will always be who you are and nothing or no one can take that away from you.
